I don’t know about you, but I know that when I don’t hit my goals things in my head start to get messy and the bully in there gets vicious.
So today, I have the solution to make you “psychologically bulletproof.”
If you’re beating yourself up and you need a little protection from any bad experience you’ve had, stay with me.
I just finished our two-day Immersion with my Peak Performance coaching students.
These are the ones who are building a career as a portrait photographer and are learning to bring in steady sales at a certain average so that they can live the life that they want.
When we get together, I like to start the training with some tools that help get them in the right mindset and help punch that bully’s voice right in the face.
I want to give you a few highlights from this training that I did with them because it was super powerful.
When it comes to big dreams, sometimes people like to focus on the gap.
One of my mentors that I studied with years ago calls it the gap trap.
It’s where we get stuck looking at where we are standing right now compared to where we actually want to be.
All you can do is see the space between the two.
It’s the gap trap.
We beat ourselves up because we’re not where we want to be and we do this in all parts of our life.
Figuring Out What The Gap And The Gain Is In Your Life
First, the gap mindset is where you’re making yourself miserable and you’re likely making everyone around you miserable.
Because all you’re focused on is what you don’t have, what went wrong, and how you’re in this miserable place.
It’s human nature to be in the gap.
The gap is when you look at where you are versus where you wish to be.
What gets you out of the gap and helps you take the control back in your life that you want is called the gain.
To see the gain, we have to look at where we started from to where we are now.
You’re in the gap when you measure yourself against that ideal vision of perfection which is where you EVENTUALLY want to be.
The secret to get out of the gap is by staying in the measurement of looking backwards, measuring backwards.
If you focus on the gain, you will be happy.
You have something to celebrate.
You can’t be in both at once… You can’t be in the gap in the gain.
Look at the lessons you have learned as a gain, not a failure
When you’re in the gap, every experience you have is negative.
So no matter what happens in your business or even your life, you’re not happy.
But being in the gain, that’s where you’re measuring yourself backward against where you were before.
Even if everything that you’ve done in your business in your eyes is a failure or it didn’t work, at least you tried.
And you look at all those lessons you learned as a gain instead of focusing on what didn’t work.
Because when you’re in the gain, you value every experience you’ve ever had.
Think about something that’s happened in your life, whether it’s in your personal life or in your business.
Something that always grates on you and makes you think you’re not good enough.
And I want you to ask yourself, “what was I supposed to learn from that?”
And I want you to convert it into lessons.
And that puts you into the gain.
That in itself puts you into the gain because that lesson will no longer suck you into the gap and it will never keep you paralyzed.
How to Become Psychologically Bulletproof
If you can learn that no matter what happens in life or in your business, you can turn it into lessons and into a gain, it makes you psychologically bulletproof.
I know I hate it when I feel insecure or I wish I could go back in time and change something.
But with the gain, I can go back and I can take lessons from it and it won’t paralyze me out of fear anymore.
And if I can turn that failure, embarrassment, or shame into lessons, it can make me psychologically bulletproof.
Until you choose to be grateful for that experience and know that you’re better off because it happened, you’re going to stay in the gap.
Put your experiences into lessons and then it can’t paralyze you anymore.
Keep learning how to reframe your gap thinking into gain thinking.
Keep learning, growing, and investing in yourself to make yourself the best version of you.